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About Dr. Steinkamp

Educator, Estrangement Consultant

& Reconnection Strategist 

I'm a communication expert, estrangement coach, teacher-trainer, researcher and mom. I've spent my career working with people to reach their goals through education by developing effective individual and group communication skills, establishing strong self-awareness, growing healthy relationships and becoming confident independent people.

 

I've worked with individuals and families for 30+ years as they strived to better their life circumstances by learning more about themselves, developing a sense of purpose and strategically pursuing their life goals.


In 2019, I began my own journey through a family separation when our adult daughter decided to cut ties. We lost contact for nearly two years. It took months of self-reflection, accountability and determination to understand my estrangement grief. Eventually, I came to know how my communication and expectations impacted and contributed to her need to leave. We're now eleven years into our estrangement story and are learning to navigate our relational challenges effectively.

 

In partnership with my adult daughter, I choose to use my experience, training and expertise to help others through the challenges and trials of relational stress, estrangement and readiness to reconnect.

Hope, help and healing for people and families with distancing or estranged adult children.

Hand Holding Tool

Insights and Understanding

So often, when people tell me their story, they describe a single incident that led to their adult child limiting communication or going no-contact. Parents are blind-sided and left reeling by their decision to step away. And they are desperate to reestablish contact. My experience is that, with reflection and open-hearted conversation, we can identify aspects of the relationship - before that event that likely contributed to the separation. It is ah-ha insights that lead to action – to growth, a sense of readiness, and the strength to repair. 

 

As a communication expert and estrangement consultant, I identified three (3) critical areas adult children consider when deciding whether or not to separate. These primary questions are often at the core of a decision to cut ties:​​

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Core Beliefs

The foundational beliefs my practice is built on:

 

  • People have a natural affinity to connect with their family of origin. 

  • People can use the time of estrangement for honest reflection, accountability, personal growth and acceptance – of themselves and others.

  • People have the power and responsibility to manage their emotions and actions.

  • People communicate most effectively when they understand how they impact those around them.

  • People are best prepared to recognize and meet the challenges of repair and reconnection when they have actively and honestly reflected, grown, and evolved their self-awareness, confidence and acceptance.

  • People’s history, generational trauma, feelings, temperament, interpersonal skills, and communication style greatly influence the quality of their relationships—both with themselves and others.

  • People do not and can not control the feelings, behaviors, values and decisions of others.​

  • People want to do their best – and do their best in any given situation with what they know and feel in that moment.

  • People can find joy and purpose after someone cuts off contact with them and during their absence.

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